The Gift
“Let’s explore the closets.” Olivia, my very tiny friend
from school had come to visit her aunt, Sanda, but it was really just an excuse
to see me and Connor. He and his family still lived in Jeeves’ flat above the
garages, but since he was currently sequestered in a makeshift lab on the
property with Mr. Shaw, she and I had found a shady spot on the lawn to sip
lemonade and catch up on each other’s news.
“It’s too hot to go inside.” I wasn’t grumpy, just lazy. Natasha,
Connor’s big red dog, was on her back next to me, getting the mother of all
belly-scratches, and I didn’t want the blissed out dog face to turn into sad
eyes if I stopped.
“I’ve heard the closets at Elian Manor are even better than
the attics at school.”
“I wouldn’t know. This isn’t really my house.” I said it
without thinking, but Olivia’s startled reaction made me add, “I didn’t grow up
here.”
“This is your family’s manor house. Your roots are here and your people have always lived here. It's your history.” Olivia sounded
shocked that I could think anything else.
“My history is all over the map because we moved all the time. The only thing I really have in common with Elian Manor is my name.”
Olivia pushed Rocky off her lap and stood up to brush grass from her shorts. “Oh. My. God. I can’t believe you haven’t claimed every inch of
this house - it’s like a giant playground. Come on, I
want to dress up, so we’re going to start with the closets.”
“That sounds as much fun as a stick in the eye.” I grumbled
halfheartedly, giving Natasha an extra scratch behind the ears. But I stood up
to follow her anyway.
“Oh shush! Under all that badass, you’re still a girl who
likes pretty things, despite … whatever that is.” She waved her hand dismissively at my
@T @T Walker T-shirt, which so perfectly suited my geekiness I couldn’t believe
she didn’t love it.
“Hey, don’t knock the nerd just because you’re like a little china doll.” It was so easy to tease Olivia about her diminutive
size. She had just turned sixteen, but was about as tall as Connor’s
eleven-year-old brother, Logan. Instead of the glare I expected, she smiled
sweetly in a way that was much scarier.
“See the open window on the third floor?” I followed
her gaze and nodded. “If I get there first, you have to play dress up with me as long
as I want. If you win, we’ll come back down here and lounge with the beasts.”
She indicated Connor’s pack of dogs that had attached themselves to us since
she arrived. “But no staircases. Go!” I had exactly one second to register what
she meant before Olivia was running across the lawn.
Olivia was fast, but my 5’10” legs were longer and I beat
her to the house. I had already mapped a way to the second floor, so I was up
on a window ledge before I realized she was taking a different route. I paused
just long enough to see her climb a drain pipe like a monkey, which she
could do since she weighed about as much as one, and I realized she was
going to beat me unless I pulled off something truly spectacular.
I made it to the second floor with no problem and was about
to leap across to my no-fail ledge, but then Olivia shut a window on her way
past, and no-fail became sure-fall . I changed direction practically
mid-leap, which threw off my balance enough that when I grabbed up, my hand
slipped off the stone. Olivia lunged down to snag my wrist, and when we finally tumbled
inside the third floor window, we were both red-faced and sweaty.
“You didn’t tell me we were playing by roller derby rules.”
“Sorry about that.” Olivia didn’t look sorry, but I forgave
her. I knew I’d have gotten much worse if
I’d been racing Ringo. “I figured you were going to win by a mile and
wanted to give myself a fighting chance. Besides, it’s paybacks for the doll
comment.”
I laughed. “You get a reprieve because you saved me from a
gorse bush.”
She gave me an evil little grin then, and sang in a
sing-song voice. “I get to dress Saira up.” It was hard to be mad though. Her
brand of cute made babies and puppies look like trolls.
“Almost falling off a manor house doesn’t scare me. Olivia’s
nefarious dress-up plans - those scare me.”
“No, it’s going to be fun!” Olivia opened a wardrobe door
and poked her head inside.
We were in one of the box rooms of the third floor. There
were apparently several that had always been used to store clothing, accessories, and whatever supplies a Clocker might need, according
to Ringo. He had explored the house from top to bottom, of course. This room was decorated
like a dressing room, with a big Persian rug on the floor and a tufted leather
bench in the middle of it. There were long mirrors on the doors of the wardrobe
Olivia had opened and she leaned back to stare at me.
“This is better
than St. Brigid’s!”
The pure joy on her face almost made the prospect of playing dress-up bearable, and I got up to poke around one of the other
wardrobes.
The clothes seemed to be organized by decade. Olivia was in
a wardrobe full of crinoline and silk, and I guessed that was probably an
Edwardian one. She pulled out a hanger with a long pink confection that
belonged on top of a wedding cake, and held it up in front of her at the
mirror.
“I have to try this,” she breathed in awe.
“Just be glad you’re so tiny that you don’t need a corset.”
I shuddered. There was a special place in hell for corsets, which were
approximately as comfortable as being crushed in a vise, and only marginally worse than underwire bras.
I poked through some Victorian cloaks, and tried on a men's silk top hat. It was too bad
Halloween wasn’t an English tradition, because I could have totally rocked an
Abe Lincoln look.
An hour later, Olivia had modeled a couple of centuries worth
of dresses, and had even convinced me to put on a long wine-colored velvet gown. It was cut like the midnight blue dress Archer had made for me in 1888. Olivia ooh’d and ahh’d, but after one
long look in the mirror, I took it off and didn’t let her put me in another
dress.
The midnight blue dress was a part of the week I'd spent falling in love with the son of a nobleman-turned-theology-student. Archer had taught me who my family really was in Ringo's attic flat in Victorian London. For that matter, I felt more connected to that flat than I ever did to Elian Manor, and it's where I had to leave the dress behind after my father died and my mother was nearly killed. The dress also represented the last really happy moment I’d spent with Archer when he was still mortal, before Wilder had infected him and changed his life forever.
My immortal Archer was downstairs, asleep in the windowless keep, and I wished he was sitting on the bench, enjoying the sunlit fashion show. I shoved the thought firmly back into the same box I put my other unattainable wishes - the ones like knowing what a normal childhood was like, or growing up with a dad.
I was putting away the last hat when I knocked the lid off a big wooden hatbox. I pulled it forward to replace the lid and was surprised to find how heavy it was. I carefully lifted it down off the shelf and peered inside.
I was putting away the last hat when I knocked the lid off a big wooden hatbox. I pulled it forward to replace the lid and was surprised to find how heavy it was. I carefully lifted it down off the shelf and peered inside.
“What’s that?” Olivia asked. She was back in her shorts and
pink T-shirt, but in my mind’s eye, she was still wearing a frothy ballgown.
“It looks like a box of gifts,” I said, as I brought the
hatbox over to the leather bench.
I pulled the packages out one by one and laid them on the
tufted leather. They were all small, and wrapped in pretty, hand-painted paper.
“These are my mom’s paintings,” I said, examining the delicate landscapes with
wonder.
“Really? They’re gorgeous! Do you think you just found her
Christmas closet for this year?”
I looked at the tag on a small box, and tears filled my
eyes. “No,” I whispered. “This was to my dad.”
I held the box in my hands as if it was the most precious
jewel, and Olivia turned over the tag with equal care. “To my greatest love, my
husband, and the father of our unborn child. When you admired this seal, I
finally knew how to give you my heart forever. Happy Christmas, From Claire.”
Olivia’s voice sounded a little teary when she finished reading. “That’s so
beautiful.”
“All their letters were like that. It’s how they fell in
love.”
Olivia looked at the other tags one by one. “To Mum, Papa,
Emily, and Missus.”
“She must have hidden them before she—” I cleared my throat.
“—before she left home.”
“Open it,” Olivia whispered.
My hands trembled. I wanted to so much, but it wasn’t mine
to open. I exhaled, re-packed the box with all the gifts, and stood up. “I’m
going to show my mom and let her decide.”
We kept our no-staircases rule all the way to the first
floor, choosing to ride banisters down instead. It was a little tricky with
the box under one arm, but managing it made up for having lost the race to
Olivia earlier.
My mom was in the sun room, which was one of her favorite
places in the enormous manor house. She had filled it with plants, and on sunny
days she liked to read on the white sofa surrounded by her jungle. She smiled happily when she saw us.
“I wondered where you two had gone. Connor has finally
emerged from the lab and is out wrestling with the dogs.”
“I’ll go find him. Come outside when you’re done,” Olivia said. I nodded, and my mom watched as she left.
“She reminds me so much of her grandmother when she was
little.”
“You know that’s a weird thing to say, right, Mom? I mean,
you’re the same age as her mother.”
My mom sighed. “I know. It’s one of the hardest parts about
not living in my native time. There’s no one left who “knew me when,” and yet,
for me, it doesn’t feel that long ago.”
I held the wooden hat box out to her. “Olivia and I were up on the third floor, and I found this in a wardrobe.”
My mom looked confused for just a second, and then her eyes
went wide as she recognized the box. “Oh! I’d forgotten these.”
She opened the lid and pulled out each gift with a smile. She
unwrapped the one addressed to Mum and
opened the box. “My mother’s favorite perfume. I saved the money I made from
the sale of a painting to buy her this, and she said my father could always find her in the house by the trail of her scent.” She held it out for me
to sniff. It had gone off slightly with age, but I could still smell a flowery
mix of jasmine and rose, with a little bit of vanilla. A wave of familiarity
washed over me, which was strange, considering I’d never met my grandmother. I
must have smelled her perfume on some of the clothes in the wardrobes upstairs,
and I thought I’d be making another trip to the box rooms soon to find them.
She picked up the gift to Papa and opened it to show me. “I made a jar of shaving soap from
the herbs and flowers I’d gathered all summer with the Missus. She taught me
how to infuse the almond oil with yarrow for his skin, and I even added wild
honey to preserve it.” I smelled that, too, and a flash of memory hit me. I was
instantly transported to the Missus in her cottage in the forest, and the way
she cared for my mom like a mother would.
That package was set aside with the one to her mother, and
she picked up another. It seemed like she deliberately avoided my father’s gift
as she chose the boxes.
She unwrapped it and showed me a beautiful porcelain box,
hand-painted with wildflowers. “The Missus was easy. She only wanted things I
had painted, so I found this to hold her special herbs, and I covered the whole
thing with her favorite flowers.”
“It’s so beautiful. Do you still have brushes that can do
such intricate work?” I touched the petals on a daisy in awe.
My mom smiled. “Why don’t you come and paint with me in the
studio this afternoon, and I’ll show you what I have?”
“I’d love to,” I said. It had been a long time since we had painted together, and I was surprised at how much I missed it.
She seemed pleased, and she examined the flower-covered box
again. “Do you think Olivia would like to have it? It was meant for her great grandmother after all, and it’s delicate and tiny, like
she is.”
“I’m sure she would love it. A porcelain box for a porcelain
doll.” I shoved the pang of jealousy down to my ankles and accepted the box
from my mom.
She snorted. “Don’t say that out loud to her – if she’s
anything like the other women in her family, she’ll tear your head off and feed it to the
dogs.”
I laughed. “Are all Picts so fierce, or just the small
ones?”
“I only know small ones.” She was already
reaching for Emily’s gift. She unfastened the paper very carefully and opened
the small box to reveal a gold hummingbird pin made of seed pearls and sapphires.
It was so beautiful it took my breath away.
“My sister was nineteen when I left. She was forever going
shopping in my room for things she liked, and this pin was among her favorites.
I think she was jealous that our grandmother had given it to me.” My mom looked
into my eyes. “Would you like it?”
I took it from her outstretched hand and examined it. The
craftsmanship was so spectacular that it looked like it could take flight from
my fingers. I handed it back to my mom.
“I could stare at it all day, but I would never wear it.”
“That’s what I thought you’d say,” she said with a smile. “I
think Millicent would wear it though, don’t you?”
I grinned. “She’d totally rock it.”
My mom laughed. “And faint dead away at the idea of totally rocking anything. I think I’ll
give it to her for Christmas this year.” She placed the pin back in its box and
set it aside. Finally, she removed the last box and turned it around in her
hands. She read the tag silently, and caressed the paper that she had painted
in a botanical theme. Then she handed the box to me.
“You should have this,” she said quietly. “It was a gift to
your father, so it’s meant for a man. But perhaps that won’t matter.” There wasn’t any pain in her voice. I realized it had been a
couple of months since we’d talked about my dad, and she finally seemed okay.
I kept the paper intact, and carefully opened the small
velvet box. Inside was a set of gold cufflinks, with a heart, a crown, and fire
pressed into the gold. It looked like the seal a signet ring would make.
“They’re beautiful,” I breathed.
“Aren’t they?” My mom’s voice held a note of pride. “Will
and I liked to poke around tinkers’ carts when they came through the woods near
the Missus’ house. One tinker, Mr. Griffin Wyatt—” she grinned. “I can’t
believe I remembered his name. Anyway, he had amazing knick-knacks on his cart, and
he used to save special things just for us. We had recently gotten married,
which was a secret from everyone but the Missus, and Mr. Wyatt came through
Epping wood that same week.” She got a little dreamy-eyed, and I felt how very
happy my parents had been together.
She smiled at me and continued her story. “He drew an empty envelope
out of a hidden compartment and showed it to Will. It was addressed to one of
the Boleyn family and the tinker swore it was genuinely from Tudor times. There
was no identifying information about the sender except for this seal in wax,
still attached to the flap of the envelope.” My mom touched the top of one of
the cufflinks tenderly. “Will bought it on the spot because, he said, the
flaming crowned heart should become our own family seal, for the two of us and
any children we may have.”
Her eyes rested on the cufflinks again. “The heart was for
obvious reasons – we were so deeply in love I sometimes ached with it. Will
said the crown symbolized the immortality of our love, and the fire represented
life – the life we gave each other, and any lives we would create together. He
asked me to make a painting of it, which may still be somewhere in this house,
but I also took the wax seal to a jeweler and had him make these.”
I knew I’d be searching the house for that painting, and the
thought of a treasure hunt made me realize how right Olivia was about the
playground this house could be. I studied the gold cufflinks. The uneven edges mimicked
the original wax and made them more striking than if they had been perfectly
symmetrical. I felt an instant kinship with the rough refinement of them. The
symbolism my dad had given the seal fit the way I felt about Archer. He had my
immortal heart, and he was my life.
I looked up at my mom. “Would it be okay with you if I gave
them to Archer for Christmas?”
She reached out and tucked a piece of hair back behind my
ear. “I think your dad would be honored for Archer to wear them.”
I grinned at her. “Not just because he’s the only guy we
know who still wears French cuffs?”
She laughed. “Will would have liked Archer, and he would
have appreciated how much Archer loves you.”
I kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Thank you for
finding these. You’ve given me the gift of happy memories to fill in the spaces
around the sad ones I’ve come to associate with my youth.”
I sat next to her and watched the mayhem on the lawn.
Connor’s brother, Logan had joined in, and the game had switched to tag. I
thought Natasha, the dog, was it.
“I’ve never really felt connected to this place.” I finally said. “None of the memories in these walls has been mine.”
My mom took my hand into hers. “I know how much damage I did
to your childhood with all the moves, and I’m so very sorry for that.”
I met her eyes. “It’s okay, Mom. Sitting here with you,
opening these presents you planned so carefully for the people you loved, makes
me realize that even though I’ve allowed people to be part of my home – you and
Archer, Ringo, Mr. Shaw, Connor and his family, and even Millicent – I’ve never
let a place be my home. I guess places were always temporary and changing, and nothing ever felt like ours.
But this place, Elian Manor, it is ours, and it’s full of the people I love.
Maybe it’s time I let it be my home, too.”
My mom squeezed my hand and we sat there for a long time with
our fingers linked together, watching kids and dogs run amok outside in the
sun. The scent of my grandmother’s perfume lingered in the air, and I held the
jewelry box with my father’s cufflinks in one hand.
My history had woven itself into Elian Manor, and my family and friends had brought their gifts of laughter, love and life into its walls. This was my place, and for the first time in my life, I was home.
My history had woven itself into Elian Manor, and my family and friends had brought their gifts of laughter, love and life into its walls. This was my place, and for the first time in my life, I was home.